funny quotes and wallpapers

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. ~Sid Caesar



It's not that successful people are givers; it is that givers are successful people. ~Patti Thor



When one tears away the veils and shows them naked, people's souls give off such a pungent smell of decay. ~Octave Mirbeau



Our government... teaches the whole people by its example. If the government becomes the lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy. ~Louis Brandeis



One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. ~Romans 14:5



Don't wear perfume in the garden - unless you want to be pollinated by bees. ~Anne Raver



An idea whose time has come was waiting there all along. ~Carrie Latet



I loved their home. Everything smelled older, worn but safe; the food aroma had baked itself into the furniture. ~Susan Strasberg



Friends are family you choose for yourself. ~Author Unknown



My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others! My manner of thinking stems straight from my considered reflections; it holds with my existence, with the way I am made. It is not in my power to alter it; and were it, I'd not do so. ~Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade



Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust - we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper. ~Albert Einstein, in The Saturday Evening Post, 26 October 1929



You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals. ~George Mikes



Simply having children does not make mothers. ~John A. Shedd



I've yet to be on a campus where most women weren't worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career. I've yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing. ~Gloria Steinem



Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel? By th' mass and 'tis, like a camel indeed. Methinks it is like a weasel. It is backed like a weasel. Or like a whale. Very like a whale. ~William Shakespeare



A good neighbor will babysit. A great neighbor will babysit twins. ~Author Unknown



A part of this strangeness of dress is that it links the biological body to the social being, and public to private. ~Elizabeth Wilson



Progress imposes not only new possibilities for the future but new restrictions. ~Norbert Wiener, The Human Use of Human Beings, 1950



If Obama sees his shadow tomorrow, do we get six more years of Bush? ~Dave Beard



If you would like to spoil the day for a grouch, give him a smile. ~Author Unknown