best funny quotes wallpapers

There is in all animals a sense of duty that man condescends to call instinct. ~Robert Brault, robertbrault.com~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



Events in the past may roughly be divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter. ~W.R. Inge, Assessments and Anticipations



You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance. ~Edward Flaherty



With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die. ~Abraham Lincoln



With just enough learning to misquote. ~George Gordon, Lord Byron, "English Bards and Scotch Reviewers"



I make presents to the mother but think of the daughter. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe



You can't say civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way. ~Will Rogers, New York Times, 23 December 1929



It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it. ~Roseanne Barr



Historians of literature like to regard a century as a series of ten faces, each grimacing in a different way. ~Richard Ellman



Even if you have just destroyed a Ming Vase, purr. Usually all will be forgiven. ~Lenny Rubenstein



As she has planted, so does she harvest; such is the field of karma. ~Sri Guru Granth Sahib



Happiness is a function of accepting what is. ~Werner Erhard



The world has never yet seen a truly great and virtuous nation because in the degradation of woman the very fountains of life are poisoned at their source. ~Lucretia Mott



The human body has no more need for cows' milk than it does for dogs' milk, horses' milk, or giraffes' milk. ~Michael Klaper



The sound of tireless voices is the price we pay for the right to hear the music of our own opinions. ~Adlai Stevenson, speech, New York City, 28 August 1952



The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn't even know they carried. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



That man is successful who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much, who has gained the respect of the intelligent men and the love of children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who leaves the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who never lacked appreciation of earth's beauty or failed to express it; who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had. ~Robert Louis Stevenson



It's a rash man who reaches a conclusion before he gets to it. ~Jacob Levin



If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking... is freedom. ~Dwight D. Eisenhower



The man who looks for security, even in the mind, is like a man who would chop off his limbs in order to have artificial ones which will give him no pain or trouble. ~Henry Miller