birthday quotes funny

Traverse: One of two ways to stop while skiing. Tree: The other method. ~Author Unknown



Be alert! Accidents hurt. ~Author Unknown



The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places. ~Author Unknown



I think we risk becoming the best informed society that has ever died of ignorance. ~Reuben Blades



Faith can move mountains, but don't be surprised if God hands you a shovel. ~Author Unknown



You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. ~Dr. Seuss



A thing, until it is everything, is noise, and once it is everything it is silence. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin



Who brings a tale takes two away. ~Irish Proverb



It's a man's world, and you men can have it. ~Katherine Anne Porter



A man's home may be his castle on the outside; inside, it is more often his nursery. ~Clare Booth Luce



If America's soul becomes totally poisoned, part of the autopsy must read Vietnam. It can never be saved so long as it destroys the hopes of men the world over. ~Martin Luther King, Jr., Beyond Vietnam lecture, 4 April 1968



The happiest memories are of moments that ended when they should have. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



The story of Harold Ross, the New Yorker and me is a mere footnote to the story of our time, and we might as well face the truth that to researchers of the future, poking about among the ruins of time, we shall all be tiny glitters. But then, so are diamonds. ~James Thurber



I've just arrived in New York City. What a place! Just smell those skyscrapers. Had breakfast at a little deli on Ninth Avenue. Cheese Danish and a cup of coffee, black as a moonless night. Hit the spot. ~From the television show Twin Peaks by David Lynch (Thanks, Rachel)



Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. ~Ovid



Most people are in a factory from nine till five. Their job may be to turn out 263 little circles. At the end of the week they're three short and somebody has a go at them. On Saturday afternoons they deserve something to go and shout about. ~Rodney Marsh, 1969



If there were to be a universal sound depicting peace, I would surely vote for the purr. ~Barbara L. Diamond If there's a book you really want to read but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it. ~Toni Morrison



Most of the money you'll win at poker comes not from the brilliance of your own play, but from the ineptitude of your opponents. ~Lou Krieger



What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories. ~George Eliot



Some Americans need hyphens in their names, because only part of them has come over; but when the whole man has come over, heart and thought and all, the hyphen drops of its own weight out of his name. ~Woodrow Wilson