funny smoking weed quotes

Pessimism is an excuse for not trying and a guarantee to a personal failure. ~Bill Clinton



A baseball park is the one place where a man's wife doesn't mind his getting excited over somebody else's curves. ~Brendan Francis



When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ~Henny Youngman



While seeking revenge, dig two graves - one for yourself. ~Doug Horton



If we wish to make a new world we have the material ready. The first one, too, was made out of chaos. ~Robert Quillen



Black people dominate sports in the United States - 20 percent of the population and 90 percent of the Final Four. We own this shit. Basketball, baseball, football, golf, tennis, and as soon as they make a heated hockey rink we'll take that shit too. ~Chris Rock



Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci



In Beverley Hills, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into television shows. ~Woody Allen



You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was. ~Irish Saying



I like the smell of a dunged field, and the tumult of a popular election. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827



"Recycling and speed limits are bullshit," Tyler said. "They're like someone who quits smoking on his deathbed." ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 16



I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society. ~Scott Adams



Love is often gentle, desire always a rage. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966



When I was twelve, I went hunting with my father and we shot a bird. He was laying there and something struck me. Why do we call this fun to kill this creature who was as happy as I was when I woke up this morning. ~Marv Levy



It is a wise mans part, rather to avoid sickness, than to wishe for medicines. ~Thomas More, Utopia sic



I always thought that my airplane conveyed a silent sermon. To the earthbound observer, its silhouette was the shape of the cross on which Jesus was crucified. ~E.R. Trimble



Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. ~Andre Gide



Most people are in a factory from nine till five. Their job may be to turn out 263 little circles. At the end of the week they're three short and somebody has a go at them. On Saturday afternoons they deserve something to go and shout about. ~Rodney Marsh, 1969



The bathtub was invented in 1850 and the telephone in 1875. In other words, if you had been living in 1850, you could have sat in the bathtub for 25 years without having to answer the phone. ~Bill DeWitt, 1972



Television to brainwash us all and Internet to eliminate any last resistance. ~Paul Carvel