funny birthday quotes for women

The biggest liar in the world is They Say. ~Douglas Malloch



Movie-making is the process of turning money into light. All they have at the end of the day is images flickering on a wall. ~John Boorman, Money into Light, 1985



Procrastination is like masturbation. At first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself. ~Author unknown, possibly from Monty Python?



Happy is the man who can endure the highest and lowest fortune. He who has endured such vicissitudes with equanimity has deprived misfortune of its power. ~Seneca



Handwriting is autobiography. ~Carrie Latet



Looking back, you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life, and that person was you. It is not too late to become that person again. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



The present age, for all its cosmopolitan hustle, is curiously suburban in spirit. ~Norman Douglas



Efficiency is intelligent laziness. ~David Dunham



By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. ~Robert Frost By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. ~Robert Frost By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. ~Robert Frost



Retirement without the love of letters is a living burial. ~Seneca



Television should be the last mass communication medium to be naively designed and put into the world without a surgeon-general's warning. ~Alan Kay



"I think I'll be a clown when I get grown," said Dill. "Yes, sir, a clown.... There ain't one thing in this world I can do about folks except laugh, so I'm gonna join the circus and laugh my head off." "You got it backwards, Dill," said Jem. "Clowns are sad, it's folks that laugh at them." "Well, I'm gonna be a new kind of clown. I'm gonna stand in the middle of the ring and laugh at the folks." ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, Chapter 22



Your Honor, a courtroom is a crucible. In it, we burn away irrelevancies until we're left with a pure product - the truth, for all time. ~Star Trek: The Next Generation, "The Measure of a Man," Jean-Luc Picard



Listening to both sides of a story will convince you that there is more to a story than both sides. ~Frank Tyger



An unattempted woman cannot boast of her chastity. ~Michel de Montaigne



Children have more need of models than of critics. ~Carolyn Coats, Things Your Dad Always Told You But You Didn't Want to Hear



If you don't know there's a trampoline in the room, you're not going to dust the ceiling for prints. ~From the television show Law & Order



You were born an original. Don't die a copy. ~John Mason



My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. ~Ellen DeGeneres



The secret to mountain biking is pretty simple. The slower you go the more likely it is you'll crash. ~Julie Furtado