funny happy birthday quotes for friends

If an American was condemned to confine his activity to his own affairs, he would be robbed of one half of his existence. ~Alexis de Tocqueville, 1835



Be a blood and organ donor. All it costs is a little love. ~Author Unknown



The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose. ~Garrison Keillor



When I see the elaborate study and ingenuity displayed by women in the pursuit of trifles, I feel no doubt of their capacity for the most herculean undertakings. ~Julia Ward Howe



You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us. ~Robert Louis Stevenson



The best thing about doing needlepoint for very small children is that they are so uncritical. The don't say things like, "I see you've missed some stitches over here on the leg, was that intentional?" or "Was this creature blinded in a fight?" They will clasp it in their little arms and love it besottedly, inseparably as the thing becomes more and more rancid. ~Carole Berman and Jennifer Lazarus



Envy is the most stupid of vices, for there is no single advantage to be gained from it. ~Honore de Balzac



What a country calls its vital... interests are not things that help its people live, but things that help it make war. Petroleum is a more likely cause of international conflict than wheat. ~Simone Weil, Ecrits historiques et politiques, 1960



I never really look for anything. What God throws my way comes. I wake up in the morning and whichever way God turns my feet, I go. ~Pearl Bailey



Sisters never quite forgive each other for what happened when they were five. ~Pam Brown



Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. ~Dr. Seuss



Men are like a fine wine. They start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with. ~Author Unknown



I've been smoking nearly 50 years now. I just don't feel safe breathing anything I can't see! ~Dave Beard



I tell my child, if I seem obsessed to always know where you've been, it is because my DNA will be found at the scene. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



I am running in this race because of what Dr. King called "the fierce urgency of now." Because I believe that there's such a thing as being too late. And that hour is almost upon us. ~Barack Obama, Iowa Jefferson-Jackson Dinner, 2007 Nov 10



A poet looks at the world the way a man looks at a woman. ~Wallace Stevens, Opus Posthumous, 1957



History is not the past, but a map of the past drawn from a particular point of view to be useful to the modern traveler. ~Henry Glassie



The purpose of life is a life of purpose. ~Robert Byrne



Ever felt an angel's breath in the gentle breeze? A teardrop in the falling rain? Hear a whisper amongst the rustle of leaves? Or been kissed by a lone snowflake? Nature is an angel's favorite hiding place. ~Carrie Latet



In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus