birthday quotes for friends funny

If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it. ~Olin Miller



Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. ~Marion C. Garretty, quoted in A Little Spoonful of Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul



The water is your friend. You don't have to fight with water, just share the same spirit as the water, and it will help you move. ~Aleksandr Popov



You're only as sick as your secrets. ~Author Unknown



Poetry is a deal of joy and pain and wonder, with a dash of the dictionary. ~Kahlil Gibran



It is amazing how much you can accomplish when it doesn't matter who gets the credit. ~Author Unknown



Don't miss the donut by looking through the hole. ~Author Unknown



After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~Chi Chi Rodriguez, on his Puerto Rican accent



I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone. ~John F. Kennedy, in an address to Nobel Prize winners



Hatred is one long wait. ~Rene Maran



My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money. ~Joe Weinstein



Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down. ~Phyllis Diller



You know you're from Arizona when you feed your chickens ice cubes to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs. ~Local Saying



The cruelest lies are often told in silence. ~Adlai Stevenson



It might be a good idea if the various countries of the world would occasionally swap history books, just to see what other people are doing with the same set of facts. ~Bill Vaughan



The greater the mental charlatan, the more definite his insistence on the wickedness and weaknesses of human nature. Yet how can anyone speak of it today, with every soul in a prison, with every heart fettered, wounded, and maimed?... With human nature caged in a narrow space, whipped daily into submission, how can we speak of its potentialities? ~Emma Goldman, Anarchism



He who draws noble delights from sentiments of poetry is a true poet, though he has never written a line in all his life. ~George Sand, 1851



The first sip of tea is the always the best... you cringe as it burns the back of your throat, knowing you just had the hottest carpe-diem portion. ~Terri Guillemets



Usefulness is happiness, and... all other things are but incidental. ~Lydia Maria Child, The American Frugal Housewife, 1829



I want to reach that condensation of sensations that constitutes a picture. ~Henri Matisse, Notes d'un peintre, 1908